My One Black Friend

SPEAKER_02:
This is Societal Deconstruction's podcast number four, My One Black Friend. Good evening. We find ourselves Bryceless again this week. So my buddy D. White will be joining me this evening. Hey, how you doing? How's everyone tonight? Dwight and I have something in common. We're both native New Yorkers.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, our experience is a little different because Boat grew up in upstate, you know, kind of near the Buffalo area. In the sticks. In the sticks. And I'm a city boy. I grew up in Flatbush, Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Yeah. Hardcore. One thing that's funny is like we talk about the races of people we've been around. Like I told her like the only non-colored people, like white people. I've been around where like Jewish people going to synagogues and I didn't really see a white person till ninth grade.

SPEAKER_02:
Which is crazy to me because I didn't see any black people. We literally had no black people in our whole town. There wasn't a black kid in school. There wasn't a black family in town. That's crazy. Like I didn't know, I mean other than TV, like the Jeffersons. Wow. And the Cosbys were my black friends, man.

SPEAKER_00:
At least you got a good reputation of black people. As before, Bill Cosby is known for, you know, putting shit in drinks.

SPEAKER_02:
True, true, true. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00:
But yeah, how I met Boat, she used to work at a little bar in town called Revival. And I used to frequent there, you know, help pay the light bill every night, you know, drinking a lot. And I tell her this all the time. She's my favorite bartender. Very nice, very courteous. And we're just, we're still buds, man. Still kicking, even after Revival closed down.

SPEAKER_02:
And I told him most of the time working at Revival, I worked there for two years and most nights I was just as sloshed as he was.

SPEAKER_00:
Which is crazy. I had no idea. I thought she was just this angel, innocent person. And I realized it was all a lie.

SPEAKER_02:
No idea, I was hammered. Oh my God, I was hammered, hammered. I don't know how I did it. But it's funny drinking when you're bartending because you're working and I guess you're sweating it off. You don't really feel it.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, you're kind of moving.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, you don't feel it as hardcore.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I would like do shots with like Cede all the time. I knew she was like getting fucked up, but you held it off pretty well.

SPEAKER_02:
I didn't notice. Which is amazing. And then I would do my white girl dancing.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh man, I remember that. She was definitely dancing like a white girl. Have you ever seen that episode of Seinfeld with Elaine Bennett dancing? Just like that.

SPEAKER_02:
And I'd go along the whole bar. It was like a long bar and I would do the whole bar to like walk it, like talk it. Good times, good times.

SPEAKER_00:
One of those, you know, Clermont staple places. And you know, speaking of Clermont, like Uh, the episode, obviously the name, my one black friend. Spoiler alert, I am not one black friend. I am black, if you didn't know. I'm beautiful as well, if you're asking. And, uh... Full show. Full show. And, um, just being in Clermont, I moved down here when I was 15. And it's kind of like almost a culture shock because growing up in New York, like, I used to get, you know, teased and made fun of my black skin from other black people because Light skin was in, it was a time of like B2K, Lil Bow Wow. Chris Brown, all the light-skinned and pretty boys. Which I find craziness. Yeah. It's just nuts. And then I moved down to New York. I mean, I moved down to Florida when I was 15. And being around, you know, white people, non-militant folks, they would say, you know, I'm white because of the way I talk. But I just can't help it, like, because both my parents were educators. I speak with, you know, some fluent and elegance. and that always got me mad because people don't know where i grew up i grew up in the hood but you know in brooklyn in brooklyn these flatbreads don't get twisted with no white people no white people it's not safe it's not it's not how it is now where brooklyn's just a fucking coffee shop in a bike lane now In a hipster's paradise. I was back when gang culture was big. And, you know, just a lot of shit.

SPEAKER_02:
Man, if I would have went to New York back in that time, like, I would have been told not to go there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:
I wouldn't have gone there. I lived in that neighborhood. I seen Jim down the block. I'd be like, man. They'd be taking my purse. They're robbing you. They're getting over on you. I'm sorry. But yeah, then moving down to Florida is just a whole different trip, man. But I love Clermont. Good. I love the idea of Clermont, let me say that.

SPEAKER_02:
Clermont's a weird little town. I never intended to end up here, ever. I actually moved to Florida when I was 18. There was nothing where I lived. We had one blinking traffic light, no black people, no Spanish people, no variety of persons.

SPEAKER_00:
So it was just like how you were living in upstate New York.

SPEAKER_02:
Well, this was upstate New York. And then, um, there were just, there was no opportunities. Um, no jobs, no, no nothing. And it was just frustrating. A lot of people would go on welfare and unemployment and it was just kind of, I didn't like, I didn't like the vibe. So two weeks after my 18th birthday, I took off to South Florida and I moved to Boca, um, and stayed with my aunt. which was cool. There was a lot of opportunities. I had a lot of fun. I like to say I majored in partying. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I ran into my first my first Black folk down there.

SPEAKER_00:
How was your experience first commuting with the Negroes?

SPEAKER_02:
Well, I didn't really because I didn't really have any Black friends and we didn't seem to run in the same circles even down there. Oh, wow. And it was it was definitely like a like a like a difference. Like all of the white people would live east of federal highway east of the railroad tracks and east of Dixie highway and all the black people would live right along the corridor of the railroad tracks and Dixie highway and to about 95 and then after 95 it was all white people out west all the new fancy that's like kind of florida in general but in martin luther king boulevard always ran right any place with martin luther king boulevard.

SPEAKER_00:
No, my bad.

SPEAKER_02:
I said bitch ass nigga.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, man. We had some wild times, wild times. She can say because she's my girl. I'm his homie. Yeah. But Florida's like that. Even like in Orlando, like Division Street, like, even like downtown Orlando, you see the kind of like the separation because there's just downtown Orlando, there's Amway Center. there's um where leno city played and there's this 55 west is there's wealth and then on that same on the flip side of the coin there's paramore there's you know there's the hood you know i wound up in paramore one day by accident and i was that's that was that was a little it was a little dicey oh yeah i locked my doors and got the hell out of there oh hell yeah if i'm in the hood i'm fucking locking my doors man I'm, hey, hey, I know I'm a black guy and I'm supposed to, you know, one people, one love, I get it, but you gotta be safe. I ain't stupid.

SPEAKER_02:
South Florida was real, it was real, real divided too. And I remember if we went to Miami and they told us, I remember this was like the days of like the nineties, the days of carjackings and stuff. And they would say, even if we got a flat tire, do not get off in Liberty City. Do not get off in Overtown. Like drive with your fucking flat tire. You're getting your shit took. Cause you're going to get, yeah, you're going to get carjacked and possibly killed. That's crazy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:
that's nuts but it definitely definitely opened my eyes to a whole new world oh yeah same like um partying with white people's amazing i'm not i'm just gonna say that out there we're a lot of fun we're a lot of fun they're doing shots they're doing all the stuff all the fun all the fun shit

SPEAKER_02:
You know what, um, one of my other black, I do have a couple other black friends. Oh, I'm not the only one.

SPEAKER_00:
I'm offended. This podcast is over.

SPEAKER_02:
Um, one of my other black friends said that if you have that, that I'm rich because I have tissues and, um, paper towels.

SPEAKER_00:
That's, that's facts. Uh, like, don't be fucking with the paper towels like that. You just got some tissues, man. Just take this shit up.

SPEAKER_02:
And he'd come over and blow his nose and use my whole box of tissues. I'd be like,

SPEAKER_00:
You know what I mean? He had to get the full experience because he's going home to the Tishler's house. He's just got to get it out of the system.

SPEAKER_02:
And then I remember you told me, um, the black folks don't, don't buy the boxed foods, like boxed like noodle side dishes or boxed like macaroni and cheese or whatever.

SPEAKER_00:
Never had rice and roni in my life.

SPEAKER_02:
We make that shit from scratch.

SPEAKER_00:
What the fuck is rice and roni? Now, I did, um... I heard it's the San Francisco treat. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:
Well, I wonder why is it the San Francisco treat.

SPEAKER_00:
I heard that's just, like, bullshit. Don't eat that shit in San Francisco. Yeah. They just said that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:
It's not really very good, anyway.

SPEAKER_00:
It's not. It's terrible. Yeah. I much rather have a little hamburger helper. Ick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, that shit's gross, too.

SPEAKER_00:
I mean, box food in general is good. It's nasty. It's nasty. Like, you know, growing up, you know, like Black Thanksgiving. Oh, I know. You had soul food. You had the soulful mac and cheese. If someone pulls up with fucking box mac and cheese at a fucking Thanksgiving. No, that's no, that's terrible. Excommunication from the fucking church. Get the fuck out of here. It's terrible.

SPEAKER_02:
Well, see, I had an issue with that because Thanksgiving, like times like that were always completely homemade. And then when I got married, my, um, I'd go over to my in-laws house and they would have for Thanksgiving, they would have, they would have a turkey, but it wasn't seasoned. It was bland and dry. And then the stuffing would be boxed. The mashed potatoes would be boxed. The gravy would be out of a jar. The vegetables were frozen out of a bag. I almost lost my shit. Like I didn't know what to do. I just sat there and shut my fucking mouth because. anything that came out of there was not going to be good.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, the past couple of Thanksgiving I was spending with my good friend Justin, who is a white male, and I go to his house. It's his parents' house, and it's different. Like, the food's not bad, but it's just, it doesn't hit. It doesn't even have a different smell. It doesn't, exactly. It's not the same smell when my mom's whipping up. My mom's a great cook, though.

SPEAKER_02:
My mom is, too. My mom always made a great Thanksgiving. We always had Thanksgiving at our house when I was a kid. And it always depended on, it seemed like Thanksgiving revolved around the fact that if my great-grandparents were going to be able to make it. Because if the weather was too bad and it was snowing, because they lived like an hour away, they wouldn't be able to drive. So we'd sit there all on pins and needles waiting to hear from them to see if they were going to be able to make it. And in the years they could come, it was so great. Oh, that's beautiful. Isn't that cute? That's cute. Yep, that's how I remember my Thanksgivings as a kid. That's sweet. And then my grandma died and then my grandpa hung himself. Wow, that man got incredibly dark. But they were together for like a hundred years, so I think after she died and then like six months later he did that, so. I think that's at least one of those explainable suicides.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, like, usually when, like, a spouse dies and they've been together for so long, the spouse dies, like, within a year. Because, like, I remember my father's father, my grandfather, he passed away. And, like, not even a year later, my grandmother.

SPEAKER_02:
And a lot of them too will get sick. Like, like, I mean, he, he made it happen himself, but a lot of them will get, just get an illness.

SPEAKER_00:
And yeah, it's that, uh, kind of like emotional, spiritual connection you have with a person for being so long, like you've lived with someone for the majority of your life and how, and they get to a point where you have to live without them again. It's hard. Yeah. That'd be scary.

SPEAKER_02:
But.

SPEAKER_00:
Moral of the story, don't get married.

SPEAKER_02:
Were you guys, so were you guys up in Brooklyn when you, let's talk about when you lived in New York and when I lived in New York. Were you guys, did you find that were you racist against whites?

SPEAKER_00:
Um, I'm gonna tell you something my brother would say, my older brother. He said, um, black people are the most racist people because they hate themselves and they hate others. And which is kind of true. And it's, it's sad to say. It is sad to say. Yeah. Cause, um, it's funny you say about black people being racist. One of the first things when my mother told me when I moved down here, she said, Hey, Pretty much, you know, I'm kind of, this is not verbatim, but pretty much in a nutshell, don't bring home no white girls, which is hilarious. I think that kind of gave me the, the, the want for white women. Cause it's like, do you like white women?

SPEAKER_01:
I love them. Do you like black women though too?

SPEAKER_00:
I love black women too. The only girls I've dated were, uh, were black women. But I fucked some white bitches. I had some white pussy in my diaper. Oh, Lordy.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, goodness.

SPEAKER_00:
And don't let her fool you. She's been a cream in someone's coffee. Just saying that. And that's all I'll say.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, Lordy. Oh, Lordy. Yeah, my grandfather would probably roll over in his grave if he knew that.

SPEAKER_00:
I know he's looking down and just shaking his head. Oh, God.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, I've thought of him a few times and said, oh, I'm sorry. Like during the act? Sorry, no, no, no, no, no. Just like some abstract, weird time. And I'd be like, you know, sorry, Gramps. But times have changed. Times have changed a bit. But I did grow up that way. A lot of people in my area were racist. And I think it was just because of, Not knowing any, you know, that's how they grew up.

SPEAKER_00:
So we talked about like just not being around, you know, they didn't have anything to... You kind of just hear stories of people's bad experiences or what you see on TV and that kind of shapes your view of people. But like I've always been... My grandfather though, he didn't like anybody. Well, at least he's an equal opportunist, you see.

SPEAKER_02:
He had a sign on his porch. He had Dobermans, and he had guns, and he was German. And he had a sign on his porch that said, no N-word, no Spics, no Jews, no, I think, wetbacks he had in there. I'm not sure what else. Or come across this porch, or you'll be shot on sight.

SPEAKER_00:
Was that a handmade sign or did he like go down the sign depot and get that? I don't think they sold them. Yeah, I hope not.

SPEAKER_02:
Plus where I lived we didn't have sign depot.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah Yeah, that sounds like a homie kind of deal. Yeah, it was you're going to Home Depot and they got that sign ready. I think it was like handwritten.

SPEAKER_02:
I as a kid I didn't I didn't I didn't know what as a kid What the fuck do you make of that shit as a kid? I don't know what to make of that sign, you know? My grandpa scared me. He'd bring it, you know, if we acted out. He never did it to me, but he got my older cousin and my uncle and aunt with the belt. So I stayed the fuck away from him. But, I mean, what do you make of a sign like that as like a kid? I mean, how old was I, I think, when I first read that and understood what it said, basically? Maybe, what, seven, eight?

SPEAKER_00:
I'm a firm believer that, you know, no one's born racist. If you look at children, and if they're playing with someone, they're gonna play with them. It's not until they're- It's taught, for sure. They're, you know, given that, you know, rhetoric of, you know, racism like you don't mingle with them you know and it's it's a shame it's a shame honestly

SPEAKER_02:
Well, it really is because, I mean, the way I see it is we're all one color under our skin. We're all the same under our skin color. We're all the same. We're just human beings. We're animals.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, there's so many things that connect us and make us the same. And we choose to focus on the few things that separate us, you know? And racism is a construct created by people establish and maintain power. And, you know, if you're, you know, divided, divide and conquer. And they, even with blacks in the Jim Crow, like...

SPEAKER_02:
Is there any topic you guys want to see us cover on societal deconstruction? Send us your suggestions and we'll gladly take them into consideration. Remember to think outside of society.

SPEAKER_00:
And we're back from our brief commercial break. This section of the podcast, we're going to do a little Q&A, a little section I like to call Black and White Stereotypes. Boat is going to take some time to ask me some stereotypical questions, see if they're true, and I'll do the vice versa. So take it off, Boat.

SPEAKER_02:
All right. All right. Well, there's a rumor going around that black men like white women.

SPEAKER_00:
All right, I'm here to say that it's 100% true. And a funny story, when I moved to Florida, you know, this is not verbatim, but more or less, whereas my mom told me, don't bring home any white women. And like, thinking back, they kind of gave me, they kind of... It's like telling you what not to do. Yeah, what not to do. I'm very like, don't tell me what to do. I love me some white women. They're fun. They're fun. We are we are yeah, like if I can get drunk like to whip the titties out and I'm here I'm here for all the good times.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh Goodness well next topic is water water either black people or can't swim, don't know how to swim, don't like to swim, or don't like water. Please clarify this for us.

SPEAKER_00:
I don't say I don't swim, but I say that's more of a me growing up in the city kind of thing because it wasn't like we have a pool in the backyard and we really didn't live next to a community pool. And actually, ironically, my father's a really great swimmer. And I remember he tried to teach me how to swim. He threw me in the middle of the pool when I was like 10 years old. And I'm like, I'm not fucking with swimming.

SPEAKER_02:
Were you going to just go jump in the Hudson River and just take a swim?

SPEAKER_00:
Nah.

SPEAKER_02:
Was that near you, the Hudson River?

SPEAKER_00:
Nah, that's a little out. The Hudson River's dirty as fuck. Ew, yeah. There's dead bodies floating by anyway, right? Yeah, I'm swimming like, yo, hypothermic needles and shit. Ew, yuck. Nah, nah. If I'm stranded at sea because of some airplane crash, I'm dying. Like, if I get caught in a current, I'm just gonna let it go, man. I will die in a watery grave before I learn how to swim.

SPEAKER_02:
Man, I love the water. All right.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, we forgot the story about when we were hanging out and we jumped off the bridge.

SPEAKER_02:
You didn't jump off the bridge.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, yeah. It's not we. I didn't do that shit, because that is 100% white people shit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, yeah, well, me and... Two of our other friends, and the one guy is, he's a weird mix. He's Ecuadorian and Australian. Wouldn't you ever find that? I don't know. He's a weird dude too.

SPEAKER_00:
Strange, strange man. Shout out to he who shall not be named.

SPEAKER_02:
And then the girl, oh, she was just white. And then me, and we, oh, we were so hammered. We jumped off the bridge and, you know, Dwight was just, he was just looking out.

SPEAKER_00:
He was the- All the white people jumping off bridges, my black ass is not.

SPEAKER_02:
No, he wasn't. He wasn't, but God, we were so hammered. As soon as we hit that water. So we're right back up. It was great.

SPEAKER_00:
That was a lot of fun. If I would have hit that one, I would have drowned. I'm sorry. Nah, no thanks. Or the alligator. Rogue alligator. That's exactly what it got me. Some dark meat today.

SPEAKER_02:
Then there's two kids sitting under the bridge doing God only knows what to pull us up onto the embankment.

SPEAKER_00:
And guess what? They were white too.

SPEAKER_02:
They what? They were white too. Just hanging out under the bridge. Yeah, what if they were homeless? They say homeless people live under the bridge, right?

SPEAKER_00:
I didn't look homeless. It just looked like just two teens. I feel like they were smoking pot or something. Smoking pot, yeah, doing whatever. Probably fucking, maybe. Probably.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah. All right, so are you good at basketball?

SPEAKER_00:
Uh, yes. Uh, yeah, that's a Black people thing, but... How tall are you? I'm about, like, 6'2", 6'3", on a good day. You know, I grew up playing basketball, love basketball. Um, we grew up, uh, probably, like, walking distance from the YMCA. And there was a thing called Jiggery Knicks, and I used to play in those. Like, I played my freshman year before I moved down to Florida. So, yeah, I'm a big basketball fan and lover. But that's because New York is a big basketball thing. It's like... You have outdoor parks where you play. We actually had a basketball hoop in my yard. And I'm telling you, I was Michael Jordan on that basketball hoop. Kids would come over from the neighborhood, and I'd win every game. I was the man. I was the man. And I'm not just saying that because I'm an ex-athlete, and I retired then.

SPEAKER_02:
Basketball was probably my worst sport. I'm terrible at it, and the only time I really played it was in gym class, and I hated it. We had to do each sport for a couple weeks.

SPEAKER_00:
When I went to school at Eastridge in Clermont, we'd have weightlifting, because I was on the football team, and we'd have the weightlifting class. I would skip that class to go play basketball. I got in-school suspension for skipping weightlifting and playing ball.

SPEAKER_02:
Weightlifting sounds really boring now. Oh, yeah, sounds brutal. Awful.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:
It's like going to the gym. I hate the gym. Yeah, that's why I'm bad. But I'm not good at basketball. I'm just terrible at it. And when we had that in gym class, I can't dribble. I can't do two things at once. So I couldn't dribble and walk. Or dribble and run. I could not do it.

SPEAKER_00:
And I'm short. Act stories about me. I used to hoop. I used to ball, man.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, I'm short, too. So yeah, I wasn't good at that. But the one thing that I did excel in at basketball was the Sega Genesis. This is in the 90s. It was a little black Sega.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, yeah. I remember the Sega. Malone.

SPEAKER_02:
Who was a three-pointer? Stockton.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, you was playing NBA Jam, weren't you? Yeah, and I was always stocked and making those three-point shots. We kicked ass, man. It was so fun. I was the man on the Dreamcast with the first 2K NBA Lives. I'm a basketball fan. I'm a basketball nerd. I'm into stats, too, and just always keeping abreasted on, of course, my New York Knicks. We're fifth seed right now in the East. We're doing it, man.

SPEAKER_02:
Hmm. I don't even know what he's talking about. I think it's basketball. Well, another stereotype that I've heard rumors of, um, black men have big penises.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, that's a one good stereotype. I mean, it's, it's, I'll tell you, it's kind of hard to live with that. I'm going to say, I'm not going to say like, I have a decent size dick. It's not nothing to write home about, I guess. But I've never gotten any complaints. Let's just keep that clear. If you're here for a good time, not a long time, I got you.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, goodness. Well, I had an encounter with one of those. And I have to say, I expected more.

SPEAKER_00:
See, it sounds good in its premise, you know? Every girl think you have this big fucking baseball bat. But if you come, it's an impossible fucking goal to make. Because you watch porn. Motherfucker's got baby arms. He got fucking dicks the size of my forearm.

SPEAKER_02:
The dude was 6'5". I was like, the anticipation was high.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, it was kind of tall, yeah. But you know, hey. You gave it all you got.

SPEAKER_02:
I'm here for a good time, not a bad time.

SPEAKER_00:
Exactly. If you want a good time, you're not guaranteed a long time, you holler at me.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, my face is red. All right, you're up.

SPEAKER_00:
OK. Now we're going to do a few white stereotypes. And let's see, Boat first one. I hear white people don't season their food. What's your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, that's crazy town. Well, some of them don't. Like my in-laws, they didn't season their turkey at all. I seasoned my food.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I had your food a few times. I'm a good cook, right? Yeah, except for that one time you had jerk chicken that was not jerk chicken.

SPEAKER_02:
That wasn't jerk chicken? What was that?

SPEAKER_00:
Why did it get called jerk chicken? It was not jerk chicken. She made some chicken. She's like, oh, I made some jerk chicken. I'm just off the look of it.

SPEAKER_02:
First of all, you don't even know the story.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, tell the story. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02:
Well, I don't remember it that well. I didn't make it. I didn't make the jerk chicken.

SPEAKER_00:
I didn't make the jerk chicken. I'm going to go with lies here. No, no, no. Because the jerk chicken, like, you got to understand, like, I grew up in a West Indian household. Like, I made jerk chicken. I made jerk chicken sauce from scratch.

SPEAKER_02:
No, no, no, no. The guy I was with was making chicken. And I came up to him and said, oh, what are you making, jerk chicken? And he's like, that's so racist.

SPEAKER_00:
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. That's what it was. That's what it was. You're right.

SPEAKER_02:
You're right. But I don't even think I said jerk chicken. I think I just said, what kind of chicken are you making? He's like, I'm not making jerk chicken. He just made a fucking deal out of it for no reason.

SPEAKER_00:
He's projecting on you, you know? Yeah. OK, next stereotype we're going to address is about the, and we kind of touched on this earlier back in your revival days. You used to do the- Oh, white girl dancing. White girl dancing. The dancing and the rhythm thing. Do you have any? No. Not whatsoever. Not even remotely close. Terrible. Elaine from Seinfeld. Awful. Yeah, she's no... I was trying to save the last dance, I forget her name. The white girl who danced with the black guy. That movie. Whoever knows about that, you got the reference. Okay, moving along. There's a hot debate going out about bathroom etiquette. And more specifically, the use of washing cloths and washing your legs. Do you wash your legs? Yes. Oh, good. Because Taylor Swift said this in an interview, like, on Ellen, like, years ago, that she doesn't wash her legs, and that's crazy to me. She's a dirty girl. Exactly. What do you expect, the fucking dirt to just wash off? You need to scrape off the dead skin cells, all the fucking dirt and dust and shit.

SPEAKER_02:
Well, you wash the rest of your body. Why wouldn't you wash your legs?

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, like, that's like 50% of your body. Why wouldn't you wash your legs? It's gross. Disgusting. Yeah. And you're a kind of a poof.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, I use the puff.

SPEAKER_00:
I'm not gonna lie, there might be some truth to, like, washcloth being black, because, like, I grew up with washcloth, but I've graduated to the puff. I've... I've... Puffs are handy. Yeah, they are.

SPEAKER_02:
I mean, just a squirt of the body wash and...

SPEAKER_00:
Get extra clean, you get the little lights, the little extra scrubby side to get, you know.

SPEAKER_02:
Showers aren't my most favorite thing in the whole wide world. So I just like to get mine over with. So I like- I like a good shower.

SPEAKER_01:
I like a good shower. It does the job.

SPEAKER_02:
It does the job good. Yeah. I like a shower, I just tuck myself in there.

SPEAKER_00:
Once I'm in there, I like it, but I gotta tuck myself in. I do enjoy a nice shower, you know. All right. Last stereotype. White girl wasted. I can almost speak about that because I definitely have been whitegirlwasted. We've been whitegirlwasted together. Oh, that one day, like this epic day that we had, me and Boat. We started off at the Clermont Bowling Alley.

SPEAKER_02:
At what time in the morning? Way too early to be bowling.

SPEAKER_00:
Way too early to be bowling or drinking alcoholic beverages. Doing jello shots. Doing jello shots, yeah. And then we went to Graffiti Junction. No, first we went to the bank. That whole date is like a mishmash, sorry. I don't even remember half of it. You're not going to get a concise, you know, story out of me on that date.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, not a consistent story out of the two of us. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:
Bank?

SPEAKER_02:
I don't remember going to the bank.

SPEAKER_00:
I love hanging out with white women. And like, not even on just to fuck, just to hang out. Because they're fun. They get drunk. They want to turn up. And like I said, the titties come out. And I'm always here for some titties.

SPEAKER_02:
And then we want to play like Cardi B on the jukebox, bowling alley at 9 o'clock in the morning.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, Ratchet. I love it.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, Ratchet. Turn down for what?

SPEAKER_00:
Turn down for nothing. All right, that concludes the question and answer portion of our little interview. A little black and white stereotypes.

SPEAKER_02:
Black and white stereotypes. I think we live up to them on both sides. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00:
Uh, sadly, just the big pee-pees. I don't fucking follow through with it, but everything else is spot on. True, true. Yeah, that's questionable. That's questionable. I have above average, okay? Above average. I'm just not unrealistic. I don't have a fucking Louisville slut in my pants.

SPEAKER_02:
All right, all right, all right. In conclusion tonight, people, we are wrapping up this podcast, but we realized we have a lot more ground to cover. So this will probably be part one. We'll do another part two here soon with my friend D White. We've had a great time tonight. Let me ax you a question, D White. Ax away. Do you say ax or do you say ask?

SPEAKER_00:
Ask? I might say ax, maybe like here and there. Why? I don't know.

SPEAKER_02:
It's weird. Is it like a cultural, societal type thing, you think? Like to blend in with your fellow people?

SPEAKER_00:
It's weird because like, you know, back to the point, you know, the whitest man ever, the whitest black man ever because of how I talk. It's like, I don't pick up like, accents like that. Like, I grew up in a West Indian household. My parents have been here fucking 30-40 years and they still have strong, like, Guyanese accents. I live with my cousins and all that. I never picked up the accent. Like, I really don't even sound like a New Yorker, honestly. Or a Floridian. I kind of have that, you know, regional dialect, you know? I got that, uh, that reporter voice.

SPEAKER_02:
Me too, kind of, don't you think? Could you tell where I'm from?

SPEAKER_00:
Not really. Yeah. That's bland. Yeah. But like, does New York, upstate New York have like the city fucking accent?

SPEAKER_02:
Buffalo has like a, almost like a mid, Midwestern accent. Like they say like house and um, there's, there's a few things. There's definitely, it's almost like a nasally kind of accent. Probably cause you're freezing to death. Your nose gets clogged. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_00:
From the cold. Only from the cold.

SPEAKER_02:
Well, guys, stay tuned for part two of our My One Black Friend, and we'll see you later. Wait, is there one thing you want to ask me?

SPEAKER_00:
It's not the penis thing again.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it like being black in Clermont?

SPEAKER_00:
Being black in Clermont, like, Like being in Clermont, like I always say, there's always, you know, this kind of hometown camaraderie, you know, like if you're from Clermont, you're from Clermont and people fuck with you. Like I've been here since I was 15. I'm about to be 34, so that's 15 plus years. He's getting old. Very, yes. And like anytime I go out, like I always get love. Like I'm always like the man, almost.

SPEAKER_02:
He is. Everybody loves D.Y. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:
And like, Do I deal with racism? It's here and there. It's subtle. And I know, like, and just, you know, just being, like, introspective, like, looking on the outside, like, I'm a 6'3", large Black man, so, like, to, like, combat any, like, anyone feeling any type of way or having, like, preconceived notions, I try not to speak softly. I'm very gregarious, like, kind of, like, inviting, so.

SPEAKER_02:
You get along with everybody.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, I do.

SPEAKER_02:
Like everybody of every race. Yeah. But you know, I think like people don't, people gravitate towards you and they don't see you as, I mean, even people that would maybe be racist aren't around you because maybe because you're not, you're not hood. I think that has a lot to do with how, how people are perceived.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, that does. Like how I'm received. Yeah, definitely. Most definitely. Yeah. Cause I've got the comments like, Oh yeah. You speak well, and that always comes off as like, you don't sound like a nigga. Basically, that's exactly what they're saying. It's kind of racist, but I'm like, well, whatever. But people kind of put black in a box. There's only one type of black. You're from the hood. You sell dope. You fucking do this, that, gold, and shit. But there's a wide spectrum of being black. any type of human being. Like, there's no set type of person. Exactly. Yeah, like, you could be Black, you could be nerdy, you could be hood, you could be into whatever.

SPEAKER_02:
Because where I come from, there's, like, there's a lot of white people that you could call hillbillies, white trash, just, like, you know, scummy people that don't want to work. They, you know, they have a bunch of kids, they live in a trailer, they're, you know, not educated.

SPEAKER_00:
That's one thing I hate, is that people equate Blackness to poverty, you know, government assistance and all that shit. I had never, I've never been on that shit. Never had government assistance, never been on sex, never lived in sexual housing, none of that shit. I was privileged to have two parents who worked their ass off. We were kind of middle class, like we didn't lack for nothing. Our lights were never off, like we were good growing up and I'm still good. And that's being black, you know? It's not being poor. Like, you could have substance. You could, you know, have, you know, assets.

SPEAKER_02:
But that just goes back to, it's not the color of our skin. We're all the same under the color of our skin. We're humans. We're one animal. We're one species. Yeah, exactly. Why do we have to put everybody in a box?

SPEAKER_00:
That's the powers that be, man.

SPEAKER_02:
They're the ones that start all the race crap.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, it's classism, bro. It's the 1% and the rest of the 99. That's what they don't get because racism is a construct to keep us separated and not, you know, look up and be like, All the people with money are making all the rules and having all the money and we live like, we live like shit. Maybe we should do something about it. That's why all these classrooms in place, races in place, these constructs to keep us down.

SPEAKER_02:
Because, you know, the regular person like me, I'm just a regular white chick. I grew up with a slightly racist family, but moved away from that and got away from that and was always open minded and never really thought that way after I left. And, you know, I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit about race. Like, I want equal opportunity for everybody. Yeah, same. And I was telling Dwight earlier, like, more people need to One thing that helps stop that stigma and that narrow-mindedness is traveling. Get a passport and travel.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, when I started traveling... The world is more than your hometown. It opens up your mind.

SPEAKER_02:
It's more than America. You become interested in other cultures, and you find them interesting, and you want to go and discover new things like that. They're not people that should be kept down in some way. You want to see them succeed. Actually.

SPEAKER_00:
This is a good conversation.

SPEAKER_02:
I'm looking forward to part two. It is a good conversation. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00:
I definitely got some more stories. Living in you know, Lake County Clermont as a black man. Just funny stories.

SPEAKER_02:
Yeah, I got a couple stories too. I got a couple stories too. So you want to wrap it up? D White?

SPEAKER_00:
All right, this is Dwight and Boat, aka Brody and Boat, on the, what's his name again? Sorry.

SPEAKER_02:
Oh, Societal Deconstructions. Sometimes I can't say it.

SPEAKER_00:
Yeah, Societal Deconstructions. If you're looking forward to the part two, it's coming soon.

SPEAKER_02:
And stay tuned for the rest of our podcast, or you can always rewind and watch podcast one, two, or three. We appreciate feedback. Let us know what you think. Thanks, y'all, and have a good night.

SPEAKER_00:
You may...